Fado, Fado, Fado, in a land from long ago,
Yoga started for me many lifetimes before now.
It’s very easy for me to fall into a yogic life as it’s so strong in my
In this life, Yoga started in my teenage years.
My Mum had picked up a hatha yoga manual after being inspired from her experience as a nurse in America where she had taken care of a lady in her 90’s who did headstands everyday in your very fancy penthouse New York apartment.
The book was called ‘Yoga for Health’ by Richard Hittleman, printed in the 1970’s with a series of nicely challenging posture’s and cleansing techniques. I resonated with very much, there was a
technique for bringing life force energy from the solar plexus to anywhere in the body there was a pain. This was completely unlike anything in my whole world and I could really feel the energy. I
would practice in phases over my teenage years.
At the age of 20, a University student in Edinburgh, bar supervisor in the Filling Station on the Royal Mile and partying at every opportunity – I felt I had been burning the candle at both ends. I
made a New Years resolution to clean up my socialising and get fit. I was a qualified lifeguard since 17 and went back swimming again in order to get fit. Achieved a bronze medallion for further lifesaving achievements and also bought a book on yoga in a mild Iyenger, aromatherapy and massage. This was information that feed my soul and helped me learn how to take care of myself with a gentleness.
The following year I headed off to Australia backpacking and carried on with life’s adventures. Didn’t look at yoga again for many years until I came into ill health, which began from an insect bite whilst camping in the outback Northern Territory. Upon returning home to Ireland after 18months travelling, I completed a Degree in Interior Architecture and was working in Dublin during the Celtic Tiger years, which translates to lots of work and lot of money for an Architect. I
ought to have been top of my game, however I wasn’t feeling good inside. The general social element was very shallow and empty, at this time we had more helicopters in Ireland per capita than any other country in the world. Lots of money going around, no soul connection to be found.
I wasn’t feeling fulfilled and there was a nagging pain inside of me that was beginning to interfere with my health and energy. I had also been through a traumatic relationship and was in a kind of self destruct mode, I knew I had to change my behaviour and the partying very regularly was burning the candle on both ends, again.
Beside Tesco in Rathmines, there was a small Yoga studio and often I would hussle to get past the people standing on the pavement waiting to go in. It really came into my field of attention and I decided to join. Had never taken a yoga class before, knew nothing about different styles – this class was a beginners ashtanga class, I couldn’t believe how hard it was. I thought yoga was about being calm and relaxed, this was an intense sweaty workout with no let-up.
I was so toxic inside I spent most of the class hating the teacher and then smiling and saying thanks on the way out, delighted to have survived another torture session, also known as Yoga. What was this downward dog thing – I wasn’t in the books I had – certainly not holding it for eternity – whilst the teacher “explains” the pose – for a count of 5 that’s actually 25. Face plant!!! I spent a lot of the class asking myself why am I here? Then turning up next week bright eyed and busy tailed, ready to flop again. This is not an ideal style for a person developing auto-immune, however I had a lot ego and seriously high tolerance to drink and drugs and partying, I actually needed a tough style to penetrate.
Different studio schedule had names of the yoga such as hatha, ashtanga, vinyasa, restorative, at different levels. I had no idea what these words meant and noticed I would choose the class by the teacher and the class style would often be a surprise.
The first teacher was a Canadian guy called Mike who did the most amazing controlled slow motion acrobatic jump through’s. He almost made vinyasa’s sound like fun with his enthusiasm. There was another lady which worked in a studio Dun Laoighaire whom trained in Hatha style (I discovered later) in India. She had something different about her – other than the crazed ex-boyfriend who stalked outside of the studio – there was a depth to her teaching. This is where
yoga became a meditative practice. Other classes were workouts by empty vessels, and this hit my soul. This was home.
At this point, my body was really running into trouble internally at this point and the auto-immune was strongly showing however not on any doctors tests, my energy had dropped to working and sleeping, there much else, some weekends I went home to my parents and could sleep all of Saturday. Chronic fatigue had taken hold and with a gentle approach approach to yoga I brought compassion into my tissues which had not been there, I was very harsh on myself previous to
this. I never really had an experience of gentleness or compassion, this was something I had to teach myself.
The precipice of Chronic Fatigue came and I was bedridden for several months, I had no energy whatsoever, I could barely make it to the toilet, and was sleeping up to 36 hours straight, getting up for food and going back to bed for 36 hours. Totally wiped out. Doctors, consultants, professors, all that non-sense found nothing. I learned a lot about that profession at that time in regards to the Rockerfella’s institute taking over global health with petrol based drugs and shutting down everything that actually work. That was a very tough part of the process, in bed, no help discovering the medical system is built to fail the people and get everyone on drugs for life, they have billions to play with and no testing ability whatsoever.
My boss at the time, told me about a Kinesiologist who had helped him, Elma Murphy was her name and this lady saved my life. She was able to stop the viruses inside of me doing more damage and got me back on my feet again. I went from not being able to get out of the bed to
getting onto a plane to Toronto where I choose to go for help with my body. I was still struggling with my energy in fluctuations and I was severely intolerant to gluten, 1 crumb could send me horizontal for days. I wanted energy healing however never heard of such things in Ireland. Having studied physic’s I knew it was in there, it can’t be void, how do I get it moving again?
Toronto was brilliant for alternative therapies, firstly they aren’t caught up with religious doctrines and small mindedness. The libraries had a huge resource of information that was not available where I come from. There was a large naturopathic school called Robert Schadd naturopathic clinic which I attended regularly both as a client and student. Had a wonderful energy healer called Anita Knight whom absolutely changed my world, connected me into Angelic energy and
opened a strong communication with source. Fabulous health stores, a very community based living and people with alternative health awareness. I was in the right place to figure out how to help myself recover and go beyond the limitations previously set my the society I had grown up in.
In Toronto I took up hot room yoga, mainly because it was so cold outside and this was really hot inside, Toronto can go to -40C. Hot room or bust!!! Moksha is a local style, a copy and adjusted form of Bikram, and it was really great. Very tough, actaully took me an entire year to be able to finish a class as my liver would be pounding in the 90minute constant movement class at +42C. Very hot, very sweaty, incredible detox. I felt that I was glowing inside afterwards.
In warmer weather I found the Healing centre in Roncesvalles and attended many workshops, classes and a healing community yoga class. This was a tonic to my body. Deepening the mind, body connection in learning how to listen to the communication which my body is having
Upon moving home to Ireland and training in Systematic Kinesiology, a lady beside me in the training room had just come back from a teacher training course in India and was showing me pictures on her phone. She was so full of life and positive energy, and recommended it so highly, I decided to go. In February 2013, I travelled to Neyyar Dam, Kerala and completed a teacher training in Sivananda Hatha Yoga.
This was one of the most life changing experience’s I’ve ever had. Very surprised at how much I like the discipline. The course is intense, its very strict, 6am to 11pm and being late for class was not allowed. This type of intense strict system does wash your brain, all the junk that your carrying in the head space gets cleaned and corrected, the jumbled up beliefs and thoughts gets combed and straightened out. The to learn of the Bhagavad Gita being a war scene, I thought this was so cool. Yogi’s are warriors.
And there is a whole system for this.
Patanjali, albeit half man half snake, gave an excellent guide for warriors in
If a person lives by this they become a very powerful weapon of God.
Remember, all Angels carry swords.
Know thy self.
An interesting point to make, when I walked into the front office upon arrival, the first thing that struck me was a photo of Sivananda’s disciple (who later fell from grace like so many other guru’s) his applied name was Vishnu Devinanda – and the photo was him teaching yoga in the Bahamas. This exact same photo was on my vision board for the previous 4 years, and here I was in the same organisation without knowing the connection. No sooner had I stepped foot inside the door
and I already knew I was going to the Bahamas.
In 2017, I completed Advanced teacher training in Sivananda style at Paradise Island, Bahamas. It sounds good, the experience was very powerful however it is run by mossad and the teachers are all Israeli military. So we had a militant style yoga training. You just knew the second you got there, things were not as they seemed. They have what are called karma yogi’s however these were actual slaves, omg the misery and the psychological abuse, every problem is YOUR ego. In
hindsight and knowing about jeffrey epstein and gizzy maxwell, I could see this being a human trafficking operation intertwined. The doors are wide open for it. The money they were pulling in was enormous, at our completion ceremony the head guru (I call the ‘fat fuck’ – and I mean that) was at the casino with all the others in orange costume dead weights, eating $100 burgers.
These people are sick.
I was also very aware of geo-engineering and at that time hurricanes were being made in this area and being brought up to Florida, they use the warm air pressure and direct it using Haarp, nexrads and the signals from the cruise ships, 4 of whom docked at nassau every night. There
was severe weather systems there and low clouds moving one direction, higher clouds moving extremely fast above at exactly 90 Degrees. There was an earth quake on a neighbouring island one night and the entire phony ashram was very ill the next day, a lot of diarrhoea, vomiting, fever etc. It was the first time I experience a lock down. People who were ill were to stay in their tents, not mix and someone would come around with food and water. I felt fine, I had a lot of remedies with me, had really good natural medicine.
They had hand sanitizer in the eating area which I refused as I have natural bacteria to protect me, little did I know then that I was being prepped for what was to come. I was well aware things weren’t right here and they hierarchy was toxic, the people were wearing costumes, I meant the Torah is there book and that’s all they were interested in. The rest was theatrics. I would walk into class in the morning and announce I was gonna give it 75%. I kept saying this and it was pissing everyone off, everyone of them got sick or injured, I sailed though.
In credit to them, they ran things like clockwork and the tel aviv teacher did do a very strong pranayama class which had a really profound effect on me, and he was very good at it. We later fell out over him saying to breathe the star of david into your heart, and I was having non of it, cos its not yoga. This guy came right up to me face and the fury and rage in this guy, it was like starring into the eyes of an earthquake, really frightened me however I wouldn’t back down – we were like in a death stare – I could see in that moment I was looking right into the eyes of a seasoned killer, and although my voice became shaky, it was a dead no to this offer. I actually
cried the whole next day all the way through classes. It didn’t stop, because I felt everything that was in his field.
In later classes I kept hearing the cries of a muslim woman’s screaming in the astral, the image came that she was holding her baby and was shot by this guy in the right shoulder. He had guilt for killing her, only she didn’t die, and she was holding hatred toward him, it was actually his guilt that was holding them both stuck, he wasn’t approachable to let him know she didn’t die, and if he dropped the guilt he would free her too. To this day I really don’t like 6 pointed stars, they show up in healing modalities very often, Merkabah yes, 2d form -no! (Not a fan of 5 pointed stars either for what its worth - stars in the sky don't have sides or angles, nature does't have straight lines although the horizontal horizon could be view as a flat straight line).
This experience was necessary for my life, and great character building, I did get a lot of value from this experience and getting tougher all the time. There was a large leyline going through this site and on a bloodmoon night I merged myself with the leyline and called God’s angel’s in to uplift the toxic scenario. I felt slightly cheated in that these guys had good martial arts skills and weren’t showing it, we were just playing pretend. It would have been more honest if were doing martail arts. So thanks telaviv earthquake, you inspired me to travel to China the following year and spend 6 weeks in a King Fu academy, which I wouldn’t of dreamed of only I spent 5 weeks in
a disguised combat energy.
On the way home from China, I stopped in Goa and attended a yoga school called Kashish Yoga in Palolem. This was a course in Aerial and Yin yoga. At the very beginning a scooter fell on my leg and I was hurt, however felt no pain. The hard chi gong had certainly toughened me up. The course was absolutely perfect for my issue and I completed the course with a damaged leg.
It happened a day after coming into contact with Samdarshi, a disciple of Osho, we were able to telepathically communicate, I was asking him questioned and he was answering them psychically in the satsung. One question I asked was "Is shiva one of the nephilm", I asked it out loud in my head and Samdarshi turned his head and starred right into my eyes for a few long moments and then nodded his head. Cool, I knew it was the case however nice to have it verified. There's very few people you can have that conversation with. So many in India dedicate their life to the deities, and when you question it, they say it's just mythology - if only they knew they were real - Book of Enoch gives full explanation.
Whilst sitting there I could feel the kundalini energy, or perhaps he was scanning it and it showed as being blocked above the heart area. I was asking him to help me open it, the next day had an accident, did a good bit of damage and felt ok. It was strange. Could it be a thing that I had to pay for this opening in a life experience kind of way. The yoga studio was very helpful and supportive, in 2 weeks at a yoga school with a very obvious injury, not one yogi asked if I was ok or if I needed some help. This is remarkable, and a valuable life experience for what was yet to come. I do recognise that I am a big energy and walk with a permanent smile, however learning how superficial people are was very useful later on in my life. Samdarshi
had a profound effect on my life.
This experience in Goa was so amazing, and so beautiful and vibrant I came back a year later. The first time I was in India I didn’t like the mess and the volume of people, its so dirty and potentially dangerous for a female travelling alone. I couldn’t wait to leave it. The second visit, I had been to China, which is the largest shithole on the planet, China is unrelentingly toxic. Coming to India after here was like landing in paradise, and Palolem is a kind of paradise. I loved everything this time around, the colours, the vibrance of all life, the food, the place, the people. OMG I cycled around and never felt so free. It was the most free I had ever felt, my soul switched on.
In 2020, I returned and completed the 200 hour multi style yoga teacher training. Kashish is amazing, they run this place from their heart and it shows. The food is amazing, the teachers are brilliant (ok I had an issue with the aerial teacher who had entity possession – so I did aerial with a russian aerial teacher down the road) – that’s me, that’s how I roll, I don’t accept everything put in front of me, very true to my intuition.
In finding this other studio, I also found a Shakti Tantra yoga class that we moved differently in, it was very sensual and we also danced in the middle of (note: the lady used beyonce, madonna music for female empowerment and although I know they are adrenochroming bottom feeders, I just got on with it, can’t stop at every post, I love dancing) Glad I did because this was an introduction in tantra and Divine Feminine energy and I absolutely loved it. I attended on the
days off from kashish yoga teacher training.
Samdarshiwas back in Goa this year too, so to save myself another smash I went to his satsungs, also on the day off and went to some of the Osho workshops, because this kundalini energy has risen and we’re up at throat chakra level going into the deep unknown. Most all attendee’s were Russian, and we laughed together, we shaked toegther, we cried together (it was kind of like fight club, I sat beside a woman who had a tough life and cried her tears too,) we danced together and we in stillness together. It was beautiful. Samdarshi has very powerful gifts.
Upon arrival home to Ireland, we went into a 2 weeks lockdown to flatten the curve which has last 3 years and now everyone is sick from toxic injections, and pretending its all fine. Worshipping false Gods and not knowing to stand up for themselves has got humanity into a right little bind. It has come so clear to me that these people are the backdrop people, they are pixels in the matrix, projections of the mind, they are not real. Every experience up until now has prepared me for this. Connecting with Samdarshi has accelerated this knowingness.
In late 2021, I discovered Kashish were running online courses and I really needed to get myself out of society, at that time I was barred from my local shop (crime: breathing), had been ordered out of many stores including Arkeen stores and other petrol stations and things for breathing, the manager in the local supermarket was harassing me on every visit and her weak vice manager telling tells everyday I was there.
At this point, every person required a star of david to enter pubs, restaurants and shops, me with a healthy immune system, was locked out of society. I was having extreme reaction to being within 8ft of the injected in any case I did not want any contact with the infected pixels. It was all very heavy, no support form anyone, was being crucified by my family, had closed my business as a kinesiologist. I had been dropping fake friends for a long time so didn’t have any to lose at this point, the few I had were sovereign and isolating from society too. It was tough.
Overthe course of the next year I completed these online courses with Kashish
100hrYin and Meditation
75hr Illumination Tantra
300hr Advanced Multi Style which took 4 months
Repeated the Yin and Meditation course for further grounding.
I didn’t realise that I would spend the full year totally engrossed
in yoga discipline and 6am yoga classes, the philosophy and pranayama
helped me massively, in that several hours a day were uplifting and
fed my soul, taking my mind out of the chaos and the lies.
Relinquishing all control, accepting what is without wanting to
change anything, having fate and trust in the Divine, knowing that I
am here to be the biggest and best version of myself and that’s all
that required. When intuition or guidance comes, listen and act as
appropriate, be in peace within the self.
All past lives are happening now.
This is the Bhagavad Gita.
My bow is taught, my arrows sharpened.
Pranayama breathes fire into every shot.
Gods Will shall be done one Earth.
And so it is.